Why you shouldn't play with timeturners
by Ms.Padfoot1
Summary: Time-turners, negligee's, and painful groins, what more could a fic ask for! The marauders, minus 1 and Lily go somewhere in time...where? who do they meet? What happens? LJ in later chapters, SHR triangle. read to find out more.
1. I think we did something wrong

James and Sirius rummaged around Lily's room, looking for something in particular.  
  
"It's gotta be here somewhere!" Sirius said shifting through the contents on her dresser.  
  
"Ah ha," James said triumphantly.  
  
"What?" You found it?" Sirius asked rushing over to his friend.  
  
"No, I found her underwear!" he smiled, Sirius shook his head.  
  
"Come on mate, find the time-turner."  
  
"All right, all right," James said as he pocketed a pair of panties and a bra. Black and lacy, he smiled at the thought of her in them. The door opened and Remus came in silently.  
  
"It wasn't in her bag," he whispered.  
  
"Speak up, there's an earmuff charm on her," Sirius said jerking his head toward the sleeping form of Lily Evans.  
  
"Nice touch Black," Remus replied closing the door.  
  
"Thanks now look around."  
  
The marauders, minus one, searched her room high and low whit no sign of that bloody time-turner. They were about to give up and help Peter search the Prefects bathroom, when James found it, in the most obvious place to look. Right around her neck.  
  
"I am a genius!" James said swinging the minuet hourglass in small circles. Remus and Sirius walked over where Lily lay, red hair fanned out over her pillows.  
  
"Now we can go back in time, get Snape, make sure we don't get caught again, and get out of getting detention," Sirius said smiling. Remus picked up Lily's head, slipping his hand through the chain to brace her neck. James and Sirius gripped the chain on either side, poising to slip it off of her neck.  
  
As the three marauders discussed pranking tactics for getting Snape none of them noticed that the tiny hourglass came to a stop. What got their attention was the sensation of being pulled forward through time.  
  
Years later, they appeared in what looked like Hogwarts, where the Gryffindor Head Girl's room should have been. They were now in a hallway surrounded by suits of armor. They lay on the cool stone floor in a heap of bodies. It only took Lily a moment to start screaming, the earmuff charm had worn off.  
  
"I think we might have done something wrong," Sirius said as he held up the broken time-turner, which was no longer around Lily's neck, but smashed on the floor, the minuscule grains of sand and chards of glass wedged in the crevices of the stone flooring. Sirius held it up by the faded gold chain; he spun the chain making what was left of the hourglass charm circle, which made the glass catch the light of the lit torches in the corridor.  
  
"Something very wrong indeed," James echoed casting his eyes around the slightly familiar hallway. 


	2. sexy black negligee

"Get off of me you worthless gits!" Lily screamed, kicking each of the marauders in various places.  
  
"Lils! Watch it! You almost got 'the family jewels'," James cried. "And you don't want to damage them; you'll be wanting them later," Lily then sent a well aimed kick to James' 'prized possession,' he instantly crumpled to the ground, clutching his crotch.  
  
"Nice shot Lily," Sirius said chuckling as he got up.  
  
"You want to be next?" she said torridly.  
  
"No." Sirius said placing protective hands over where Lily was implying to kick with her bare foot.  
  
"Here," Remus said offering Lily a hand to help her up.  
  
"Thank you, at least one of you is a gentleman," she said turning her nose slightly higher in the air.  
  
"I'm a gentleman, let's get a room and I'll show you how gentle I can be," James said sending a sly grin in her direction.  
  
"Pigs."  
  
"Well, seeing as you're properly dressed Lily, you and James have some fun," Sirius said pointing to the negligee that Lily was wearing. Remus laughed at what Sirius had jus pointed out to the tetchy Lily.  
  
Lily looked down at what she was wearing, something that would indeed be suitable for going to bed with someone. It was a black silky piece of lingerie, which rested about six inches above her knees. The last five inches of her negligee was black lace. James smiled at what she was wearing, more or less. He loved how her delicate shoulders were displayed with the thin spaghetti straps; he especially loved the very low cut and lacy front that gave her fabulous cleavage. James took the chance to memorize what she looked like in the negligee, the lace on her thighs, and the silky body of the dress that clung to her form, the tiny pink ribbon that ran around her body just under where her breasts began, and the lace that rested over the silky essence of the dress that covered her chest. Her red hair curled toward the hollow of her neck and her green eyes searched the hallway looking for something to cover her, the only thing that was there that would work was the suit of armor, but the only way it would help was to get into it and there was no way of doing that. So instead she shrieked and wrapped her arms around her petite body. James slipped out of his school robes and wrapped it around her delicate shoulders that he loved so much; it took all of his self-control not to smother them with kisses. Lily gave a weak smile in James' direction.  
  
"Uh, chaps, where are we?" Remus said looking around. He looked down the corridor and all he saw was more suits of armor and tapestries. The rest of the group looked around too.  
  
"It looks like we're still in Hogwarts, it probably just took us to another part of the castle," James said, wishing he believed what he said.  
  
"Yeah, maybe, Sirius get out the map, see where we are," Remus said looking in the other direction.  
  
"Good idea," Sirius took out the map, tapped it with his wand, and muttered the words to get the map to work, "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good," instantly lines blossomed on the paper, giving them the blueprints of Hogwarts.  
  
"Clever, I must say," Lily said looking over Sirius' shoulder. The other marauders on his other side. They could all see that they were in the east wing of Hogwarts and they all sighed audibly.  
  
"Thank God," Lily said closing her eyes and smiling blissfully.  
  
"Come on, let's go back to Gryffindor tower," James said snaking his arm around Lily's shoulders, for some reason she didn't object, she allowed herself to be held by the person she thought to be an arrogant jackass.  
  
The four of them walked back to Gryffindor Tower in silence, thinking about what could have happened if something bad had happened. Halfway back to the tower Lily stopped and glared at the marauders.  
  
"You assholes broke my time-turner!" she yelled, realizing something now that they thought they were out of the trouble.  
  
"We didn't mean to," Sirius said stopping as well.  
  
"What did you want with it?" Lily questioned, turning on Remus.  
  
"Just wanted to fix something," Remus said looking around for a way of escape.  
  
"What!" She turned on James now.  
  
"Nothing now, everything's fine, we'll get you a new time-turner, all right?" James said as he continued walking.  
  
"Do you know how hard they are to get James?!"  
  
"Don't worry, I promise you I will get you a new one," James said coming over and clasping her hands in his. Lily just shot daggers at him before she continued walking back to Gryffindor Tower.  
  
After a few more minutes of walking and an eternity of silence, they arrived at the portrait of the Fat Lady who was snoring lightly from inside her frame. Sirius cleared his throat loudly. She stirred slightly within her gilded frame. She glared at them with sleepy eyes.  
  
"Password," she said closing her eyes slightly.  
  
"Fluffy snorklebottom," Remus said eager to get back to his bed.  
  
"Wrong," she said opening her eyes to see who wished to trespass into her common room. The sight that greeted her eyes was not what she expected, how could she forget those four faces? She gave a loud gasp and then fled from her portrait.  
  
"What? Where is she?!" James yelled kicking the frame.  
  
"This night is ridiculous!" Lily said leaning against the wall next to the frame, she slid down the wall, not caring at the moment if she flashed all of them, which she didn't; she thanked God as she got situated on the floor. Eventually the other three joined her on the floor. Within moments everyone's eyelids were heavy and threatening to crash down. And they did, Lily and James were the first ones asleep against the uncomfortable stone wall. Sirius soon followed them into dreamland, though Remus couldn't fall asleep. The wall was too uncomfortable for him. He was the first to see the Fat Lady return with a look on her face that was a tie between smug and shocked. Remus pushed himself off of the floor. He glared at her for a moment before yelling 'fluffy snorklebottom' again.  
  
"Now, now, Mr. Lupin, no need to shout," Doumbledore said coming out of the shadows behind him.  
  
"But she won't let us in, I know I'm saying the right password!" Remus exclaimed.  
  
"Why don't you wake up everyone and then come with me," Doumbledore said casting his eyes over to where Sirius, Lily, and James slept. Remus nodded and gently shook Lily awake. Her eyelids fluttered, she focused on Remus and they shot open completely.  
  
"The Fat Lady's back?" She asked hopefully.  
  
"Uh-huh, but -" Remus didn't get to finish because Lily sprung up and stalked over to the portrait.  
  
"Listen bitch, you're gonna let us in or I am going to shred your canvas, got it," Lily said with a fire in her eyes, she only saved for James. Doumbledore chuckled from behind Lily. She spun around suddenly and when she saw her headmaster she blushed all the way up to the roots of her red hair. "H-hello Professor Doumbledore," She said sheepishly.  
  
"Hello Ms. Evans."  
  
"Lily that was great!" Sirius said after being kicked awake by Remus.  
  
"If you would follow me please." Doumbledore said turning on his heel. The four of them followed their beloved headmaster down the hall toward his office, leaving a stunned portrait hanging on the wall.  
  
"Well, I'd never..In all my years.." The fat lady said hotly.  
  
~*~  
  
"Did we do anything wrong Professor?" Lily immediately asked when they were sitting in his office.  
  
"No, not particularly," he said steepling his fingers.  
  
"Hey Doumbledore, your phoenix." Sirius said trailing off.  
  
"Yes, what about Fawkes?" The elderly man asked.  
  
"When I was in your office yesterday he was molting, now he's got all of his feathers, what's up with that?" Sirius asked walking up the phoenix and stroking its head.  
  
"That's part of my explanation, in a way," Albus Doumbledore replied.  
  
"And that is?" James asked, propping his feet up on the headmaster's desk.  
  
"One question first," James nodded. "Lily may I please see your time- turner?" Doumbledore asked.  
  
"You can't," Lily said grimacing.  
  
"And why is that?"  
  
"It's broken," Remus answered for her. "We wanted to get it and go back in time to get out of detention," Lily sent a death glare in the marauder's direction.  
  
"Did you feel like you were going through time before you landed?" Doumbledore asked.  
  
"Yeah, now that you mention it, I felt like we were going through the years," Sirius said turning from the coo-ing phoenix.  
  
"Forward or Backwards?" Doumbledore asked hoping one of them would catch on.  
  
"Forward," Remus said.  
  
"What does it all mean Professor?" Lily asked totally oblivious to what he was trying to tell them.  
  
"In short, welcome to the future," Doumbledore said spreading his arms out. Lily looked at the man she admired in so many ways with wide eyes. She made a small noise in the back of her throat before she fainted dead away. 


End file.
